Getting over stage fright: focus on the task, not the fear

Tonight I'm reading aloud at the fourth annual Halloween reading series created by Maine writer Katy Silva, author of The Monstrum Chronicles. The story I'm reading is the only short story I've written, and even though it'll be the third year I'm attending this event, I don't seem inspired to write something new. I have gotten fond of Hunger and the Baby, based on an incident that took place in Brooklyn, New York in 1940 when my husband was a young boy.

What's it like to read aloud in front of an audience? It can be terrifying. What if I mess up? What if no one laughs when I want them to? What if I read too fast? What if I read past my allotted 20 minutes? Will the world end? In a word, no. People are so kind and receptive and they say nice things. It's quite an experience.

Great advice I read this week in an older book called Wishcraft: How to Get What You Really Want by Barbara Sher. I am a self-help junkie, and that's okay. Sher outlines two types of fear that can hold you back from taking action toward what you want in life. I want to be a writer. I am a writer. But I want to get my mystery novels finished and published.

 Fear number 1 is Stage Fright, which is merely energy that will dissipate once you begin reading. Okay, I've read aloud before and she's right. The second type of fear is Survivor Fear, which comes from not having your needs met as a child. This is simplifying a bit. I recommend the book. But the Survivor Fear can be assuaged if you give yourself all the validation and support you didn't get when you were young.  That can take some time!

But Sher says there are things you can do immediately: Prepare and Lower Your Standards (for now). I used to resist reading the story, rehearsing if you will. Why? Because I'm weird that way. But today I gave it a run-through for my husband, who laughs at all the parts I hope are funny. He also encourages me to take my time and be more dramatic. Me, be MORE dramatic? Huzzah!

As for the Lower Your Standards part, Sher wrote this in 1979. It's a precursor to what writer Annie Lamott made famous in Bird by Bird. Lamott says to give yourself permission to write a "shitty first draft," a piece no one else will see. Sher says the same thing, only 20 years earlier. That part helps a lot with my actual writing.

Focus on the task, not on the fear. Barbara Sher knows her stuff. 

So I think I'm prepared for tonight, except my printer won't work, so I can't tweak some changes I'd like to make. But I'll get through and have some fun in the bargain.